Happiness is Underrated

How happy are you in your life right now, do you know the art of self love? Do you feel blessed to be living the life you wished for or are you struggling to get tattered pieces of your life together to make it one? Either way, what should matter to you is that both the phases are temporary and none of it will matter in a few years.

We are always taught that happiness is achieved when you find peace with your inner soul but in reality how many of us have actually been able to achieve it? I am still struggling frankly.

Happiness is not comparing your life with others, but its human tendency to always see what the people out there are doing and then wondering, I wish I had that life. Why is it that we are always comparing ourselves and being so hard upon ourselves?

Why is it that we always want what others have but are never content with what we have been blessed with? Greed is inbuilt in humans since birth and we always have had the longing to have more, more than our petty hands can carry. But when can this habit change?

In today’s world with the amount of comparisons being done, family pressure, social pressure, peer pressure one is forgetting to live life the way they should – relaxed and grateful. We forget each day that waking up to a roof on top, food, and family we are more privileged than 70% of the people out there.

Why can’t we just be happy with what we are blessed with? I know it’s not just me who feels this way because the world can be so judgemental that you start doubting yourself, wondering if you are worth it or not. And I am no different from any of you out there.

But in the past few weeks I have been trying to fall in love, not with anyone else but myself only because I realized I had never accepted myself to let others accept me. To know your value you need to learn how to love and pamper yourself. In this life, all we are doing is trying to please others not realizing that people are forever ungrateful and only 5% of the time you will find people who will be by your side till the end and not just pretend.

Trust me when I say to try to fall in love with yourself, it’s the hardest thing to do. You start seeing your true self and instead of hiding, you begin to learn to accept your flaws and forgive yourself for those instead of trying to fix them to please the superficial world.

I used to think happiness is legit shopping therapy, well I was just a teen back then who hadn’t faced much of the world and always lived in a fragile shell. I would only think of giving out to people and never expected anything in return. But in reality, well that will only give you broken heart, and when I say this I mean it to be anyone in your life- parents, siblings, friends, your partner, your colleagues, it could be anyone.

You need to learn that you need to get back the same amount of how much you give, or you will always lack the feeling of being content and compare your lives with others. It isn’t easy to stay happy, it involves a lot of hard work of working on yourself and accepting that YOU are more important than anyone else out there.

Always place yourself first, learn to be selfish. Learn to love yourself more than you love others, because only when you realize your worth and self-value, you will end up being around people who are willing to give in the same amount of positivity to you. And start being grateful to every little thing you have in your life, I never understood its importance until I started to experience happiness in small things – like growing my own plants and not in buying designer bags/shoes I saved money for years.

So I have been actually trying to fit into all this, and trust me it been hard. The transition from the superficial way of living to try to actually find a meaning for everything in our life is so hard! When I say hard, I mean it but you need to get past it to know how precious you are as a person. There are the few things that have helped me in this process, and I would love it if you guys do them too in case it helps, you’ll feel way better.

1)Find out what makes you happy!

Now when I say this, I don’t mean referring to other humans. I am referring to the hobbies. Things which you loved doing ages ago and still wish to do, but aren’t getting the time to do it. Sit with it and start doing it, make time for it. Even if it’s just 20 minutes make sure you do it. You will start feeling great, trust me.

For me, it’s reading /drawing and writing that helps me feel better. For you it could be anything – dancing/music/strolls on the beach or in the park /playing with your pets/fishing/picnics, anything you wish to do. What I am saying is that take out time for yourself because you, my dear friend, have much more value than people tell you actually have!

2)Go spend time with the less fortunate people from your surroundings.

Every time you feel sad/ungrateful I would recommend you to go and spend some time in an orphanage/an old age home/or anyone who is less privileged than you. Go spend some time with them, talk to them, help them out in ways you can, and then thank god for how much he has blessed you with.

3)Stay away from social media!!!!

Trust me this is the biggest problem in today’s life! If you are on the side that is literally having the best time of your life, great, flaunt it. But if you aren’t in your best phase of life, I will highly recommend you to stop using social media and instead switch to art/music/reading.

People say to just unfollow the people who bother you but that isn’t easy and nor we wish to create any ill differences do we? Hence just quit it till you don’t feel the best version of yourself. It is very hard, but you need to do it and you will realize how much better it will make you feel.

4) Stop whining!

This is because people will only make fun of it. No one except for you will understand what you are going through ever, it will just be used against you to put you down, but then you still want to share it with someone, well what do you do?

Go to your best friend, no I am not referring to your human friend, this one is something that has never ditched anyone for thousands of years – the notebooks. Every time you feel low, pen down everything that’s in your mind, it can be very stupid, but trust me it is very therapeutic.

5)Make your own improvement journal.

Yes, most of my points are related to books/writing because it actually has the power of healing which is often underestimated. Not everyone is lucky to have people around to always talk to, people are like the weather, they change every season without reason! Learn to be more dependent on yourself.

Write down every day how you feel, what you are grateful for today. Highlight points that made you feel good and when you’re feeling low go read those again and you will know what to do next.

6) Pamper yourself !!!

Gift yourself with something you have always wanted. Probably hoped you would get as a gift from your loved ones? But no, get it for yourself! Is it the laptop you were eyeing? or a new phone? new car? A diamond ring you saw on your Instagram? Just go get it!!! Cause you deserve it all!

Forget the big fishes, gift yourself on a day-to-day basis. Go for a manicure/pedicure, go for a fine dinner all by yourself, go buy yourself some flowers, some balloons, anything you wish for, anything that makes you feel at peace! Cause you are to be celebrated and cherished!

7) Don’t set unrealistic goals

Just because you want a life like you saw someone else having doesn’t mean you set random goals. Start slow, setting goals is very easy but trying to maintain them and fulfilling them is so much harder!

Start with baby steps, go from daily goals to weekly goals and once you start getting a hang of it go for monthly goals, and finally when you have got a full hang of how you go about with your goals, aim for the big ones! They surely won’t fail!

8)Listen to Podcasts

It always helps when you are trying to get through a difficult phase. By reading stories of other people who survived it or even better listen to podcasts, they are simply very motivational and inspiring. Hearing like-minded people talk about their experiences only helps you find your weakness and strengths faster because you no more have the fear of being judged and therefore you will heal faster.

Trying to be happy is directly related to self-love. And only if Money could buy happiness it would be this simple – Prada and Gucci would solve the problems! But not all of us have that much fundings do we? sigh! But no seriously, you got to work on yourself, love yourself, and then only you will start seeing the change. Try doing this for 21 days because they say it takes 21 days to make a habit, well does it? I have no clue!

But I have started trying to love myself and place my self first in my own life, and sometimes it does feel very lonely and you feel like nothing is working out but NO! YOU CAN’T give up. You are one heck of a strong person who was sent into this world only cause God knew you could endure it. Try and give it a shot!

And I would love to know, how you conquered the art of self-love in the comments or you could just email me! Because in today’s world I feel, it’s more important to know how to fit in yourself as the real you and not according to how the society wishes to see you.

Like I wasn’t feeling my great self so I ended up writing here, because writing for me is therapeutic. I hope this article helps you out in case you are feeling terribly low/sad/lacking self-confidence cause you are a rock star and no one can ever steal your thunder from you for long enough 😉 You are a diamond that will shine when its day will come which is super soon ! Just learn that you are more important than anyone else out there!❤️

Lots of Love,

Shriya Pandita ❤️

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Also make sure you check out my other blogpost on Pondicherry travel plan !